Every Thursday night for the last four weeks, I have a count down in my head. It starts with me doing my homework, like I was doing that night and then I remember the phone calls from your mommy. Followed by the excitement with your Aunt Jonna as we scrambled to head to the hospital so.. so.. so.. eager to see your beautiful little face. Then a text from your daddy telling us to wait and of course that text was too late because we were already on our way. Then remembering the waiting for them to arrive and then them arriving. Me parking the car and rushing with Aunt Jonna to catch up. Waiting in the waiting room still not realizing that our lives were changing forever. Then at 1:34 AM the text that ended our dreams. Then the rush of anguish for my baby boy and his sweet Paige, for the family and for you my sweet princess. Then going to the chapel to pray to a God that didn’t listen to my prayers and pleadings. (I still would trade places with you so that they could have you in their arms.) Every Thursday night this replays in my mind and my heart breaks over and over again. Followed by Friday’s knowing that you arrived silently at 9:33 to your heartbroken mommy and daddy’s arms. They had such a short amount of time with you alone. We all had such a short amount of time to hold you, rock you, tell you stories, sing you songs, dance with you a little bit, kiss your sweet face and head; just brief moments to pack in a life times worth of love to you angel girl. It will never be enough for me!! I will love you forever and always…to heaven and back my little angel girl.
As always your Nanny