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Hi sweet angel girl,

I really thought that I would be sound a sleep this week. At least that was my plan. I did not want another Thursday night and another Friday to start with thoughts of losing you. But here I sit again and thinking exactly those thoughts. I know that it will get easier (never better) because it could only get better with you here with all of us. I know that you are here in spirit but I so long to hold your little squirming body in my arms. Just to look into you eyes and to smell that sweet baby smell. Memories that we never got to have. Maybe it is better that way because I guess those memories while so sweet would also be painful and hard to let go of. I will never let you out of my heart but I know that you are in a place that makes all others pale in comparison. Lucky little angel girl living in glory before the rest of us. We will see you one day and then we will get to make up for all of the things that we missed out on together. Until that day comes I know that you are being taken care, loved, adored and probably even spoiled by my grandparents, my uncle, my little brother. hosts of other angels and of course Jesus and his father. No safer arms than ours could you be in. No tears this morning. Just feeling a little melancholy and thinking of some memories of our short time together here on this earth. Sweetest of dreams Payton Elise! I love you to Heaven and Back ~Forever & Always!~

As always your Nanny

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