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Hello my sweet angel baby,

Your daddy is once again suffering a loss, as we all are and it is getting to be too much to bare this summer.

Your half-brother, Cammy’s mommy is in heaven with you now. I am hoping that you two have met and that you are taking care of one another.  Even though your daddy has your mommy now, Jessica was a big part of his life and will always be because of your big brother and she always had a piece of his heart. Her family does not like daddy too much and while he is not crazy about them, he would never take them away from Cameron’s life. Daddy knows that he needs them too. He knows that he will always need his mommies family but he needs to be with his daddy too. They were finally getting to build a relationship this summer and were spending time together but it just became too hard for Jessica and daddy to just be friends. They had this electric spark when they were together and while they would always care about each other they were not good for each other. It was all of nothing with the two of them. They either were together as a couple or they had to be a part. 

I had thought the her new boyfriend, Cory may be who she needed. But he was not!!  I have found things out about him that I am not sure her family or anyone else knows. He was sometimes abusive to her and she would say that something else happened. She was so beautiful and had so much to offer and now she is gone. She made the fatal mistake of getting in the car one too many times with someone who was too drunk to drive. She died and he is in jail without a mark on him! I am so angry because he has already had two chances to correct his behavior with previous DUI cases and he didn’t learn. I am angry with the courts for not making him more accountable with the second arrest.

Now he has taken Jessica from her mom, her dad, her step-mom, her sisters, her friends and most importantly your big brother -Cameron. I know that it is up to God to judge and punish but I want him to be punished. I want him to know that his actions have FOREVER changed a happy little boys world and that he took your brothers mommy -who was also his very best friend!

No more hugs, no more kisses, no more silly games or stories, no more… no more… no more…..!!! I am Heart broken and heart sick.

I wish her family would reach out to us, especially your daddy and not make us the enemy in all of this. Why can’t we all love and be there for Cameron? He needs everything that he can get and everyone who can be there for him.  I am worried that they will try to keep us from him even more now. Jess and I would meet up at various times with Cammy. Not as much as I wanted but I know that she was busy with work and school before all of that and she was a young woman who wanted to a life outside of all of the adult things. I understand that and I waited patiently for her to have more time for us and for her to allow us more time with him. Grandparents really do not have any specific rights or so I have been told and I never really wanted to pursue anything legally because that just makes hurt feelings and who is really hurt by that? Cameron in the long run. I love that little boy too much to ever hurt him intentionally.

Nanny needed to vent in a safe place. I miss you so much baby girl and our visits at the cemetery are not enough. I will be stopping by there later today with a pin wheel that will spin when the wind blows. I thought it would go with your butterflies.  Please watch over daddy and mommy and your big brother. Help Jessica settle in there and have her help watch over you while we can’t. Maybe she can take comfort in watching over and take care of you while we all watch over and take care of her precious baby boy.

Love you to Heaven and Back ~Forever and Always!~

As always,

Your Nanny