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My darling angel girl,

Nanny is heartbroken yet again for your daddy. His attorney told him that there is no way for him to get custody of your big brother because he just cannot keep paying to fight. The judge in the case keeps denying all of the attorney’s motions and your daddy is just so defeated. If he does not go and sign a paper voluntarily to give up his rights to Cameron then on Monday when the trial would start if the judge decides against him (his attorney said that she is going to do just that) then he will have to pay between 15,000 and 20,000 in attorney fees for their side plus all court costs. This all in addition to what he has already spent. So it comes down to money.

I am finishing my degree this month in a field that I no longer believe in or trust. I always thought that if you told the truth and tried you best that you had a fair chance with our system of justice. Flawed as it is..I was so naïve to believe in it and the process and rule of law. But now I know what a delusional fool I have been. There is NO justice here on earth. If there were then we would be with your brother now. All of us, his mommy’s family, your daddy and all of our family too. Instead he loses both of his parents before the age of 6. All because one side is vindictive and cruel. My only solace is that when he turns 17, they cannot stop us from contacting or seeing him. We will have all of the court records, the depositions, all of the correspondence to them, all of the correspondence from his mommy before her death. Then Cameron will know the truth and he will be able to decide if he wants to be a part of our lives. That does not mean that he will have to choose between us or them, because that is their style not ours. I hope that Jess’s mother lives to regret what she has done, what she has cheated him out of, but I do not think that she is capable of those or any emotions at all. She was, is, and probably always will be empty and heartless. (Just my experiences with her, I am sure others may feel differently and they are certainly entitled to feel as they do too.)

Please keep your daddy close to you and watch over your big brother, (you answer to a higher law than do we and Genie can’t keep you away), and your baby brother who is on the way in October. I miss you my princess and would trade places with you anytime so that your daddy would not be so sad. I know that God has other plans, but it still hurts and now this just does not seem fair. Then again, whoever said life is fair? Not me.

Thanks for letting nanny vent and cry a little. I love you to Heaven and Back ~Forever & Always!~

All my love as always,

Your Nanny

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